Monday, April 12, 2010


I just want to express my feeling.
I'm not gonna lock this article. i don't know why, don't ask me why.
As you all known, We broke up. oh hell yea, i don't want seriously. :( But everything happened for a reason.i always thought that's another chance waiting for us. and we can get back together if both of us pay some effort. but he don't. He say he want to be selfish. he say if we getting back together, he won't change. i mean his attitude. Yeap, i won't force him to change. because i'm the one who hurt him last time. he live without me for 3months. and he still can stay alive. just his life abit complicated. So don't you think that i can live without him too? Maybe it's the right decision we made. suffer for now better than forever. or in the future. no point to ask your love to change for you, because if he change, he is not him anymore. get what i mean? :) maybe i should just change th way that i love him. let everything go. let him to have a amazing life in inti. And EVERYTHINH WITHOUT ME. =)

i remembered someone said before, everyone has their own limit.if you cross that line. no cure alr. what done is done. you don't give me the chance, you don't try to forget th past, you don't think that we can make it. how hard i try to maintain our relationship also useless. :(
So maybe it's true, that i can't live without you, maybe it's true, two is better than one.
i like this song so much. But, doesn't match me at all. Haha.
i cannot stand for the feeling that, i have a boyf, just like don't have a boyf.
i try to be understanding, yet he want more? or as he said, i never change.
people scold me childish and stupid, especially Vivan. She said, if every time you asked to broke up. then after that you want him back. then why you want to broke? it's true. but this time, seems like we won't getting back together. like anymore. like no more.

i am coward.
when i changed my relationship status from in a relationship to single.
Herh saw it, and he came to asked me what happened. not more than one mints after i change.
& then i removed th status. you know why? because i don't want people to know.
i don't want people to laugh and me and said, woah! see, this is called karma. =)
what goes around come around.
i don't tell my problem to all my bitches. because i thought i can solve it by myself.
i thought, so. means, i'm not. :( i can't handle it by myself. i so feel like dying.
my tears can't stop dropping. i cannot stop from crying.
i pretend i'm happy in front of all them. i laugh i smile i chill. but when i'm home.
i'm alone. i feel empty. i wanted to call him. just to talk with him.
But i remembered every word he told me before. i scared we got no more topic to chit chat about. he don't want us to keep contact everyday. he got no energy to take back everything cause of our distance. i remembered all. i am sad.

he said he want the answer by this sunday. but i don't think we need the answer anymore.
Cause i don't deserve you. i got no the right to ask you to change for me anymore.
& i don't like th way to treat me. So, we are not meant to be.
if we are meant to be, give me times. to learn how to love the way you are.

hard to go into sleep. i need to make myself very very very tired.
only i can off to my bed, if not. i think of him when i was lying on my bed. when i was sitting in front of my laptop. when i do anything, everything. i think of him. :(

Haihs. hard to continue.
i must stop. i must quit his life.
Don't ask me whether how i feel, don't ask me whether i'm ok or not.
Just let me to be empty. Just let me to pretend i'm happy.

Take care sayang, nobody is going to wake u up early in the morning.
nobody is going to nag you when you want to sleep. a lot a lot. i don't want to write. :(

but there's someone love you by another way of love.
Fly free, enjoy your life. =)

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